True love is letting go
by Aloh Dark
Summary: Mostly Draco POV. Well read I'm not tellin' nothin else. Except that it's Slash. All though it's stated there really isn't anything bad.


Disclaimer: This is MY story! I wrote it! I own it! It is MINE!! ALL MINE!! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!! But HP isn't. It belongs to J.K Rollings and Scalastics (no clue how to spell that). Oh and if my spellings of names and places and things and ect. are wrong please tell me. My HP books are at my friends and I don't have the patients to wait for her to give them back. I also am too lazy to search the web for the correct spellings. Well On with the story. Enjoy!!  
  
The stars shone on the secret lovers embracing. They only had a few more moments before ecstasy ran cold and truth bells rang in their heads. But for the last fleeting moments they embraced.  
The chill in the wind was felt as passion's fire doused itself. The star-crossed lovers shivered, as their skin was bite.  
Yet instead of getting up and dressed their embrace increased. Fires were fanned back to life as their fever for each other grew. Simple touches and softly spoken words sent the pair cascading head long back into the throws of ecstasy. With only the stars overhead as silent witness to the star-crossed lovers doomed to secrecy.  
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It's been months now hasn't it? Five months to the day tomorrow. Five beautiful, ugly, lifting, disastrous months. How can it be that as we grew closer and closer we'd grown more and more alienated from those that we once were close to. It's amazing how profound the effect we've had on each other. Some good, some bad. Ah my Angel, how could I've done this to you? What is so bad? You were an angel and an angel you remain. But how could I have done that? No! No regrets. I had to! I wouldn't have been able to see you slowly die for me. I just hope you'll understand. I did this for you, my Angel. If I didn't let you go would you ever learn to fly?  
Today is like that day. Muggy and raining. The world outside is reflecting the way I felt. How callously I told you. So without emotion. The beast my father had always accused me of being. You were smiling. Those gorgeous eyes of yours sparkling with fire that could easily be flamed into passion. You waited for the longest time. Your body and eyes pleaded for me after a while of just standing there silently.  
Oh how your voice rings through my ears. All you wanted to know was 'Why.' Just that simple question over and over. Screamed as I ran away. Not able to answer without being overcome with tears and begging you forgiveness. Begging you to take me back. Why did I do it?  
Why oh why did I let you go? My dear sweet Angel. I love you, and that is why. I remember hearing once that true love was letting go. And it is. I would have destroyed your innate goodness with my… my unworthy carcass. You are goodness reincarnate and I'm… I'm just the Devil on Earth.  
Your face haunts my dreams. Those adorable freckles and blazing red hair. How I long for them to be under my fingers once again. I long to caress your well-toned body. To be held in your arms as the lurid nightmares rage in my head. To have your voice and hands sooth me after I wake in a cold sweat. Only you have invaded my thoughts so completely. I want you back so bad it makes me ache. But I won't destroy you with my selfishness.  
You will find someone else. I'm sure of it. Your heart has so much love in it you won't be able to give it all away in lifetimes. You have to find someone worthy of you. And I…. I will stand by and sure you find love. I'm going to stand in the shadows until you are happy. Sort of like an invisible knight in shinning armor. Go dear Guenivire and find your Lancelot. Do not let your heart settle on me when there are so many that are more deserving.  
At night I would go back to our spot. I did this for weeks. And every night you would come. Coward that I am, I stayed hidden. I watched you wait for me. You'd make a fire and then lie down to wait. You'd slowly fall asleep. Some nights when the winds bite my skin and made the flames flicker, I'd crawl out of hiding to encircle you in my arms. Just as we had been every other night before when we slept together; we slept in the same position, you curled into me. One night you even cried in your sleep, calling out my name. It was then that I realized that I could never leave you. Not even if I told you that I hated you and would kill you if you got close enough. Not even then would I leave you. I know that one night you saw me. You called my name sleepily as I left you one morning. I heard everything I wanted in that voice. But I still walked away. That was the last time you slept out. I know because I did.  
At first you stopped eating. Then in the middle of class you'd break into tears and run from the room. Bruise like purple moons formed under your eyes. You'd become dead to all worlds except for the private Hell I'd given you. But slowly you got back into routine. But you still moved as if in a trance. As if your body was working but your mind, your heart had stopped existing altogether.  
How could you love me so much that you let yourself become this? I did the right thing by letting you go. So why do I feel like I had just drank a million gallons of cyanide and lived? It was the right thing to do. I had to let you go.  
I hated myself so much as I watched you waste away that I left. I told Dumbledore that I was leaving and packed my bags. The train took me as far as London so I used a portkey to get to the U.S. I had been to New York before. So I knew of a place I could stay. A place where I couldn't use magic. Another train ride and then a cab took me to my friends' house. This is where I was welcomed with open arms and then left to decide weather I wanted to wallow in self-pity or try to forget you, like I ever could. I didn't do either. My days were filled with so much activity I could barely think of myself, let alone my Angel. But my nights were filled with agony. Instead of hurting myself with thoughts of that night. I used the more refined torment of the joy of you.  
I then betrayed you. I was drunk. Drunker that I've ever been and thoughts of you left me begging for release. And he was there. He'd been trying to get me the whole time I was there and finally he did. I wouldn't let him take me, as he had begged to. No one but you has ever been allowed that position. I used him brutally. I forgot everything as I drove into him. Everything but you. Your face, your body filled my eyes. And when it was over instead of feeling safe and content as I had with you, I was disgusted. My self-loathing was deepened that night. But never again did I stay from you. I'd learned my lesson that night. And I came back. Once again I packed but this time I was going to you instead of away.  
I'd seen you this morning as I checked into the Leaky Cauldron. You didn't recognize me but I'd doubted that you would. My silver hair was blood red and I have piercing now. My stay in New York had made me turn Punk/Goth. Besides a cigarette was pressed between my lips and nobody from Hogwarts was ever seen smoking. You were seated with your family, Potter, and Granger. All of you were talking animatedly. But not once did I see a smile grace your lips. All to soon I was shown to my room.  
That is where I sit now. Writing this for no apparent reason. I'm owling this to you even though we're in the same building. I don't want Hermes here while I do this. Oh and I'm giving Hermes to you. Please take good care of him. I'm sorry for all the pain I've put you through. I love you. True love is letting go.  
'Jhonen' Draco Malfoy  
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"What was that noise?"  
"I don't know. Ron?"  
"…"  
"Ron?"  
All the sudden Ron jumped up and raced towards the stairs. He flew up and dashed down the hallway. Suddenly he stopped in front of a door. His heart beat rapidly as he opened the door to see the prone body laying on the floor clutching a glass in his hand. Suddenly the bodies' eyes flew open.  
"Ron?" The voice was feeble, as if at the door of death.  
"Oh My God!" Even with the transformations Draco had pt himself through, Ron recognized him. "Draco! Oh No! Draco!!"  
Harry and Hermoine stood in the doorway as they watched soundlessly. Ron dropped down and cradled Draco's body in his lap.  
"My Angel. I love you so! Why did you have to come?"  
"Draco! Don't leave me again! I won't be able to stand it! Please don't leave me!" Tears streamed down his cheeks as he begged his lover to stay in a panicked plea.   
"I love you Ron." Draco's voice was getting weaker but sounded determined to hang on.  
"I love you, too!! But please don't leave me. Swear you won't leave me!"  
"I'll try."  
  
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So how does it end?  
Does Draco live to see the error in his ways and live with and love Ron? Or does he slip into an eternal slumber he's never to wake from to yet again leave Ron in despair?  
I can't tell you. I don't decide who lives and who dies in this story. It's up to you, the reader, to ponder Draco and Ron's fate.  
And if Draco lives, do they eventually fall out of love and live separate lives? Or do they remain forever faithful to each other? Or does one fall out of love while the other remains in love? Is he then doomed to watch his beloved love another?  
Yet, if he does die does Ron learn to love another? Does Ron near forget the life of his lost love and love another? Or does he stay true to Draco and live a life without the love of another? Would he then be miserable? Or will he be happy?  
The possibilities are endless. So, you tell me.  
~~~Fin~~~  
  
A.N: Not bad for my first D/R fic, right? Please review!! Pretty Please with Slash on Top!!! Well it's 11 so I'm going to bed. Night People!! TTFN!! 


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